April « 2010 « Tiphani Montgomery - #1 Essence Magazine Best Selling Author

Does Facebook have a restraining order application?

In the day and age of social media, the elusiveness of the internet has somehow made everyone a little bit more “thugged out” than they are in real life. The things that one wouldn’t have dared said in someone’s face is easily communicated through the airwaves of the on-line jungle and slowly feeds the ego of the “e-thug.”

This befuddles me.

Greatly.

I occasionally wonder what happened to the days of confronting someone face to face to handle whatever situation you had, but the “e-thug” most likely isn’t that person anyway, so the position as the internet gangsta is ideal. I really don’t have anything to say about this type of person because a lot of people prefer drama over peace and that’s a demon you’re going to have to deal with on your own.

My only plea with this sort of sad individual is to please…PRETTY PLEASE…just STOP! Your mind is a horrific thing to Facebook (and Tweet) and all the subliminal bullying just kind of makes “these persons” (jump off a plane with no parachute) wack.

Side Note: Don’t shoot the messenger

Another Side Note: #TeamTiph is just trying to help you out a little. The e-bullying saddens #TeamTiph deeply and “The Team” has made a vow to put an end to it, one statues update at a time.

You all are giving out waaaaay too much information about your life and we all are laughing at you.

Side Note: #TeamTiph personally gets a kick out of at least 20 people daily. This is the entertainment that “The Team” has been reduced to. Smh

So, for the sake of ALL humanity, please stop with this foolery. And if you insist on not listening to me, at least grow some balls and use the person(s) name that you’re attacking because I’m sure they’re oblivious to what’s going on.

Side Note: And that not only just makes you WACK, but it makes you a WACK TIME WASTER.

Either grow some balls or grow up!

Because I’m ALWAYS right,

#TeamTiph

Apr 21 2010 | Tiphani's Common Sense Tip of the Week bullying, Facebook Stalkers, Restraining orders, social media addiction
Comments (4)

Forgive. Get Over It. Move On.

He left you.

This time for good.

And now you’re left with your heart torn to shreds, trying to force yourself to let go of all the hurt, even if you never hear the words, “I’m sorry.”

Two words you deserve.

Two words you have to be okay with never hearing.

You’re mind is at war because you have to find peace in this chaos that you’ve created for yourself.

So now you’re left, trying to mend a wound that’s never been healed. A wound that’s just been bandaged up. Hidden. So that you can get back in the dating game.

Without your broken heart being revealed.

You know you need time to grieve, but you keep trying to figure out when it all will end. When will the steady stream of tears stop falling down your face? You wonder when the thoughts of violence will stop creeping in your mind, because as of right now, hurting him seems like the only way to make you feel good. The only answer.

And so you pray.

Obviously not hard enough.

Still too angry, too bitter, too hurt to let it all go. You beg God to take your heavy burden away, so you can move on, as fast as he managed to do and find you someone new so that you don’t feel left behind from all the men who found someone else and gave her a chance.

You have to stop holding on to a burden that’s too heavy to bear. A burden that’s eating away at your soul.

Rotting it away.

One memory at a time.

Never realizing that you and him never really had a chance. That the memories were just an illusion of what you wished you were.

An illusion.

That brought you to the brink of insanity because you created a world of “forever” that never existed.

You lost a man that you never had.

There were never any good times, just lies that you wished were true because you couldn’t stand the thought of never meaning anything more to him than you did.

A piece of pussy.

Was all you were.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

And the reality of that kills a piece of your soul that you may never get back. You told him that you loved him, but what you loved was the image of what you wished love was.

But what you had was never love.

Never a friendship.

Just years of a rotted tree that you refused to cut down just in case it grew a piece of fruit.

And now you want to pretend as though he never existed. Like a total stranger. Because that’s what you’ve become.

Because that’s what you’ve always been.

Forgiveness.

Is not for the faint at heart, but for the strong who are at their weakest.

A test.

Of your faith, that if right now were to be compared to a mustard seed, would fail.

I know it’s easier said than done, but in order to keep your sanity…

Forgive.

Get over it.

And move on.

Your welcome,

Tiph

Apr 20 2010 | On Relationships bitterness, forgiveness, getting over a broken heart, Relationship Advice
Comments (6)

101 Things About Me (…because I know you wanna know)

1. I changed my name from Tiffany to Tiphani in the 4th grade because there were too many of us and I thought that I was more special than everyone else.

2. I played the french horn for 11 yrs. Was offered a full scholarship to play at an Univeristy. Didnt wanna lug that thing around campus. I respectfully declined. And regret every moment of it.

3. I went into labor with my daughter when I was 18yrs old and 7 months pregnant on Carnival cruise ship in the middle of the ocean. She was a healthy 3lbs.

4. She’s now 10 years old and hates that I named her Jaedah Kiss

5. I frequently let her know that it was between that, Carnivalla or Strawberry Hill

6. She quickly settles down and realizes how lucky she is

7. I tell my daughter that her real mother is my younger sister. My mom plays along. (I know…sick-smh)

8. I tell my daughter that Santa and the Easter Bunny are dead, but The Tooth Fairy lives on FOREVER!!!

9. My mother still yells at me

10. And I’m a grown up

11. My daughter occasionally “tells on me”

12. And my mom vows to give me a “whoopin”

13. This satisfies my child

14. And disturbs me. Deeply.

15. Can’t cook. Dont want to learn. Dad said I would never find a husband. Told him that his last 2 wives cooked well and he still left.

16. I no longer think food is a way to a mans heart.

17. I dont want anymore kids.

18. And then sometimes I want twin boys.

19. I believe ALL men cheat, but secretly hope that I’ll marry the only one on this earth that doesnt.

20. I’ve always believed in fairy tales.

21. My favorite color is pink

22. And on Saturday it’s red

23. And on occasion it fades to black (still not sure why)

24. I have a secret love affair with Christian Louboutin

25. And Louis Vuitton

26. And Nanette Lapore

27. And 3:1 Phillip Lim

28. And would LOVE if you donated here to assist with my habit #cantsayididnttry

29. My high school principle (RIP Mr. Tanski) wouldnt let me graduate unless I took anger management. It was a blessing in disguise. Thats where I learned to write.

30. I have A.D.D (not sure if that wasnt a known fact) and use to give my ritalin to the dog (RIP Zues). I didnt kill him-lol

31. I moved from Rochester, NY to Raleigh, NC in 2002 b/c I thought Raleigh had palm trees. Boy was I fooled!!!

32. I’m a people person

33. Who most of the time doesn’t like people #justsayin #kanyeshrugs

34. I roll my eyes at EVERY MAN that looks and smiles at me in traffic #beatitcreep

35. Allergic to fruit. Tongue swells. Throat shuts down. The whole works.

36. I dont date guys that replace traditional communication with text messaging. Its sooo lame and they aren’t that busy! #hesjustNOTthatintoyou

37. I always wanted a pet monkey

38. And then I saw one who took this woman’s face off

39. Then quickly changed my mind

40. I’m a Christian

41. Who isn’t really good at being a Christian

42. And says stupid Christian things like “God knows my heart”

43. I’ve vowed to get it together before Jesus comes

44. I just pray that He doesn’t forget me

45. For occasionally forgetting Him

46. I have formed a very serious addiction to

47. Facebook

48. Twitter

49. And Gusher Fruit snacks

50. And am in need of help, but no one will take me seriously

51. All the pens that I write with have to be .7 tip

52. Or its impossible for me to write

53. (Yes, it’s THAT serious)

54. I have a CRAZY doodling problem

55. I mean like, INSANE ASYLUM, crazy

56. But it’s a part of my genius so I embrace it

57. I have never been able to throw away a book

58. Even if I hated it

59. Just. Seems. So. Wrong.

60. I’m extremely intuitive

61. And am never wrong about people #giftfromGod

62. I transitioned from relaxed to natural hair 2 years ago

63. And I’m in love with my wavy curls

64. I vow to NEVER go back to the creamy crack

65. I’m a bestselling author

66. Who doesn’t like to write

67. But can’t live without it

68. I never cry at funerals

69. Instead, I crack jokes because I want everyone to be happy again. So I try not to go

70. Cause that gets awkward

71. But can’t keep my eyes dry when a total stranger dies in a movie.

72. Yeah. Weird…I know

73. I’m not a morning person

74. Who vows to one day be a morning person

75. I am mean

76. Stubborn

77. And always want things my way

78. But I’m also the nicest person you’ll ever meet

79. And a BIG tipper

80. And an even BIGGER eater

81. Who can’t gain any weight no matter how hard I try

82. My BFFs tell me I act their moms

83. Because I boss them around

84. And beat them into submission

85. (sort of like mommy dearest)

86. But that’s only because I want what’s best

87. And it can only be done MY WAY

88. My favorite movie is the Color Purple

89. And I have watched it 718 times

90. (Yes, I keep count) Don’t. Judge. Me.

91. I am ALWAYS reading 2 books at a time

92. Non-Fiction

93. Always Non-Fiction

94. Although hard to believe, I have flaws

95. Need to work on my parenting skills

96. My listening skills

97. My anger

98. My procrastination

99. And my Jesus points

100. Other than those things, I’m perfect

101. I have 4 tattoos

102.  But the one I hate the most was gotten when I was 17 and consist of a

103.  Heart.

104. With a bullet hole and blood running down

105. With my daughter’s name in the middle

106. Don’t. U. Judge. Me. Don’t. U. Dare. Judge. Me.

107. I am 100% against women paying for dates

108. Or anything else for that matter.

109. I ALWAYS take risks

110. And I’m not afraid to lose

111. Because when all else fails, I get up and go haRRRder!!!

Ok, so it was 111;)

#TeamTiph

Apr 19 2010 | Tiphani's Inspiration 101 things about me, addicted to twitter, addiction to facebook
Comments (5)

Link Love: 04.16.10

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>>>My goal is to grow my hair to my waist by July 2011. This is the waist length challenge that’s helping me along the way

Apr 16 2010 | Link Love book collection, break up advice, chili and usher, fashion blog, Link Love, money advice, Natural Hair, suze orman
Comments (1)

How Many Times Are You Going To Let Him Take Pieces Of Your Heart?

Maybe if you knew what love was, you would recognize that the relationship you are in isn’t. He doesn’t value you and you know that yet you stick around hoping that one day he will.

Years fly by yet the two of you have yet to grow.

As lovers.

As friends.

Years fly by and you seem to still be where you first started. Back to the beginning when your thoughts were filled with mere wishful thinking with no life time commitment.

No promises of forever.

Never an “I love you.”

Just the hurtful conclusion that you’re pointless in his life.

You often let him touch you.

The way a woman lets a john touch her.

With cold hands.

And no heart.

Just lust and a burning desire to cum.

And you let him.

You close your eyes and pretend that his touch is warm. That he’s in love with you, but when you open your eyes you are back to reality.

That the man that was on top of you:

Never.

Even.

Knew.

You.

Existed.

Move On. Quickly.

Tiph

Apr 8 2010 | On Relationships love, lust, reality, Relationship Advice, relationship blogs
Comments (9)

Tiphani On…

MY EX

It was time to move on. After years of negotiating and compromising, I finally left. Gave no explanation. No goodbye. Just left. Changed my phone number and moved on. I realized I didn’t need the closure that I thought was necessary for my healing and it was the best decision I ever made.

CHEATERS

I think that all men cheat.

Ok, maybe not ALL men, but I’m a firm believer that if your man isn’t faithful to God, HE WILL NOT BE FAITHFUL TO YOU.

You can’t expect a man who has yet to ask you to be his wife (and actually go through with it) to be faithful. He’s still single and the fact that your last names are NOT the same proves it. If he cheated once, he’ll do it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Commitment and faithfulness are rare in this day and age, but is compromising just to have a man worth your sanity?

THE OTHER WOMAN

Seriously, are we still on this?

Ok, let me be the first to admit that when I was younger, EVERYTHING was the other woman’s fault, but with age comes wisdom (well, at least in my case it did) and I learned that you only attack her because of you’re own insecurities and fears.

To all of you who have a “boyfriend” let me help you out:

SHE IS NOT THE PROBLEM!!

He’s the one who betrayed your trust.

He owes you the explanation.

THE OTHER WOMAN’S EXSISTENCE IS HIS FAULT.

HEALING A BROKEN HEART

Cry.

Until it’s over.

Until your eyes can produce no more tears.

Give yourself time to grieve the loss, but then move on. Quickly. And love again. Like it’s the first time.

DATING

Be a lady.

NEVER pay.

Lose your independence for just a second and enjoy being wined and dined.

Side Note: DON’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM. Because it probably won’t last long. And when that happens, you’ll be able to move on to the next one with ease. Because you won’t be left with the sad fact that you tried to keep him with your pussy.



GOLD DIGGING

Thankfully for me, I attract $$$ #justSAYING

LOVE

If only for a moment, enjoy it.

Every last second.

I LOVE feeling like this. It’s just the best feeling in the world!

MARRIAGE

Don’t play wife without the ring. #thatsALL

FRIENDSHIP

Some aren’t worth keeping, but if you have the BFFs that I have, you’d do EVERYTHING in your power to keep them in your life. Mine keep me sane and grounded. They are honest when I rather them not be and they love me #flawsANDall

SINGLE PARENTING

Sweet Baby Jesus, take the wheel! #nuffSAID

CHILD SUPPORT

$50 a week?

Fifty.

Dollars.

A week?

SWEET BABY JESUS, TAKE THE CAR!!!

FORGIVENESS

Holding on to hurt, whether past or present causes sickness (cancer, heart disease, etc.) Set your will to forgive people before they even do anything wrong because what they did (or WILL do) to hurt you isn’t worth your health.

Let it go.

All of it.

Now.

CAREER

I’m writing as many books as my fingers can type, producing my first documentary, and a few other projects that I’m keeping TOP SECRET for now. I’m building an empire (and its gonna WIN WIN WIN NO MATTER WHAT)!!!

PROCRASTINATION

I was supposed to start this blog last year.

Schedule this post for this morning.

Start on my new book….*hangs head low*

BIBLE

It’s not an anthology that a group of old men got together to write one day. Its 66 books of seed that is to be planted in your life, watered, and nurtured.

For example:

If you’re having lack in your life, find the scripture that pertains to prosperity and confess them out loud over your life.

***Genesis 39:1-6, 21 Like Joseph, I prosper wherever I go and in every situation I’m in because the Lord is always with me. I too experience preferential treatment.

***Luke 1:28 I am blessed and highly favored.

***Deu.7:15; Psalm 5: 12 Because the favor of God shields me, no sickness or disease has a right to live in my body.

***Deut. 8:18, Psalm 112:3 Wealth and riches are in my house because I am empowered with His anointing and favor to draw wealth.

GOD

Most days I don’t deserve His grace and mercy. Just glad that He doesn’t feel the same.

GIVING

It’s an art that I have yet to master. But this year I have made it a priority to be a giver. I’m thinkin it’ll up my Jesus points and I need as many of those as I can get!

Believe + Conquer,

Tiph

Apr 6 2010 | On Relationships, On Single Parenting bible, career advice, forgiveness, God, gold diggers, love dating relationship advice, single parenting advice, the other woman
Comments (4)

Tiphani’s 3 for $30 Book Special

Get an autographed copy of any 3 of my HOT novels and have them shipped directly to your doorstep.

Books ARE LIMITED so take advantage of this offer TODAY!!!

Apr 5 2010 | Books by Tiphani #1 essence best selling author, book special, Expensive Taste, Millionaire Mistress 3, millioniare mistress, Still A Mistress
Comments (0)

Because When All Else Fails…

Give them hair.

Lots of it.

It’s been officially 2 years since I last pasted the “Creamy Crack” aka “The Relaxer” on my new growth and my hair has NEVER been healthier!
Never big chopped.
Never put an “organic” relaxer on my hair to make the natural hair more “manageable.”
Just went cold turkey.
I was a bit apprehensive about going natural at the beginning of my journey because I thought that the process would take too long and I would have to fight with two different textures…
Side Note: My hair was already pretty long (Bra strap length) but to my surprise it only took 11 months for me to grow a whole new set of hair. #GrateFUL

I suggest EVERYONE go natural. It’s easier than you think and you’ll LOVE your curls!!

MY HAIR CARE REGIME
I wash my hair once a week usually with Tresseme or Pantene Pro V shampoo and conditioner. Not only do they smell great, but I’m also able to slip my fingers thru my forest of curls which is pure heaven (my fellow tender headed people will understand).
I apply a quarter size drop of CHI hair protectant serum all over my hair, blow dry with a paddle brush and flat iron with a CHI iron.
Side Note: When I wear my hair natural, I wash it DAILY with conditioner ONLY (shampoo has too much alcohol in it and dries it out).

TRIM
I do mine yearly. I take very good care of them, they rarely split, and it retains my length.

GOAL
Waist Length by July 2013.

MY BFF. THE REASON I’M NATURAL TODAY. AND SHE DOESN’T LIKE PICTURES. AT. ALL. HENCE THE T-SHIRT.

Apr 5 2010 | Because When All Else Fails..., Tiphani's Natural Hair Journey creamy crack, Natural Hair, relaxer, transition from relaxed to natural hair
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MY EX

CHEATERS

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HEALING A BROKEN HEART

DATING

GOLD DIGGING

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