101 Things About Me (…because I know you wanna know)

1. I changed my name from Tiffany to Tiphani in the 4th grade because there were too many of us and I thought that I was more special than everyone else.

2. I played the french horn for 11 yrs. Was offered a full scholarship to play at an Univeristy. Didnt wanna lug that thing around campus. I respectfully declined. And regret every moment of it.

3. I went into labor with my daughter when I was 18yrs old and 7 months pregnant on Carnival cruise ship in the middle of the ocean. She was a healthy 3lbs.

4. She’s now 10 years old and hates that I named her Jaedah Kiss

5. I frequently let her know that it was between that, Carnivalla or Strawberry Hill

6. She quickly settles down and realizes how lucky she is

7. I tell my daughter that her real mother is my younger sister. My mom plays along. (I know…sick-smh)

8. I tell my daughter that Santa and the Easter Bunny are dead, but The Tooth Fairy lives on FOREVER!!!

9. My mother still yells at me

10. And I’m a grown up

11. My daughter occasionally “tells on me”

12. And my mom vows to give me a “whoopin”

13. This satisfies my child

14. And disturbs me. Deeply.

15. Can’t cook. Dont want to learn. Dad said I would never find a husband. Told him that his last 2 wives cooked well and he still left. 

16. I no longer think food is a way to a mans heart.

17. I dont want anymore kids.

18. And then sometimes I want twin boys.

19. I believe ALL men cheat, but secretly hope that I’ll marry the only one on this earth that doesnt.

20. I’ve always believed in fairy tales.

21. My favorite color is pink

22. And on Saturday it’s red

23. And on occasion it fades to black (still not sure why)

24. I have a secret love affair with Christian Louboutin

25. And Louis Vuitton

26. And Nanette Lapore

27. And 3:1 Phillip Lim

28. And would LOVE if you donated here to assist with my habit #cantsayididnttry

29. My high school principle (RIP Mr. Tanski) wouldnt let me graduate unless I took anger management. It was a blessing in disguise. Thats where I learned to write.

30. I have A.D.D (not sure if that wasnt a known fact) and use to give my ritalin to the dog (RIP Zues). I didnt kill him-lol

31. I moved from Rochester, NY to Raleigh, NC in 2002 b/c I thought Raleigh had palm trees. Boy was I fooled!!!

32. I’m a people person

33. Who most of the time doesn’t like people #justsayin #kanyeshrugs

34. I roll my eyes at EVERY MAN that looks and smiles at me in traffic #beatitcreep

35. Allergic to fruit. Tongue swells. Throat shuts down. The whole works.

36. I dont date guys that replace traditional communication with text messaging. Its sooo lame and they aren’t that busy! #hesjustNOTthatintoyou

37. I always wanted a pet monkey

38. And then I saw one who took this woman’s face off

39. Then quickly changed my mind

40. I’m a Christian

41. Who isn’t really good at being a Christian

42. And says stupid Christian things like “God knows my heart”

43. I’ve vowed to get it together before Jesus comes

44. I just pray that He doesn’t forget me

45. For occasionally forgetting Him

46. I have formed a very serious addiction to

47. Facebook

48. Twitter

49. And Gusher Fruit snacks

50. And am in need of help, but no one will take me seriously

51. All the pens that I write with have to be .7 tip

52. Or its impossible for me to write

53. (Yes, it’s THAT serious)

54. I have a CRAZY doodling problem

55. I mean like, INSANE ASYLUM, crazy

56.  But it’s a part of my genius so I embrace it

57. I have never been able to throw away a book

58. Even if I hated it

59. Just. Seems. So. Wrong.

60. I’m extremely intuitive

61. And am never wrong about people #giftfromGod

62. I transitioned from relaxed to natural hair 2 years ago

63.  And I’m in love with my wavy curls

64. I vow to NEVER go back to the creamy crack

65. I’m a bestselling author

66. Who doesn’t like to write

67. But can’t live without it

68. I never cry at funerals

69. Instead, I crack jokes because I want everyone to be happy again. So I try not to go

70. Cause that gets awkward

71. But can’t keep my eyes dry when a total stranger dies in a movie.

72. Yeah. Weird…I know

73. I’m not a morning person

74. Who vows to one day be a morning person

75. I am mean

76. Stubborn

77. And always want things my way

78.  But I’m also the nicest person you’ll ever meet

79.  And a BIG tipper

80.  And an even BIGGER eater

81. Who can’t gain any weight no matter how hard I try

82. My BFFs tell me I act their moms

83. Because I boss them around

84. And beat them into submission

85. (sort of like mommy dearest)

86. But that’s only because I want what’s best

87.  And it can only be done MY WAY

88.  My favorite movie is the Color Purple

89.  And I have watched it 718 times

90. (Yes, I keep count) Don’t. Judge. Me.

91. I am ALWAYS reading 2 books at a time

92. Non-Fiction

93. Always Non-Fiction

94. Although hard to believe, I have flaws

95. Need to work on my parenting skills

96.  My listening skills

97.  My anger

98.  My procrastination

99.  And my Jesus points

100. Other than those things, I’m perfect

101. I have 4 tattoos

102.  But the one I hate the most was gotten when I was 17 and consist of a

103.  Heart.

104. With a bullet hole and blood running down

105. With my daughter’s name in the middle

106. Don’t. U. Judge. Me. Don’t. U. Dare. Judge. Me.

107. I am 100% against women paying for dates

108. Or anything else for that matter.

109. I ALWAYS take risks

110. And I’m not afraid to lose

111. Because when all else fails, I get up and go haRRRder!!!

Ok, so it was 111;)

#TeamTiph