How To REALLY Not Care What Anyone Thinks About You

I was in my early twenties and ready to make a MAJOR life move.

One of those monumental decisions that meant the success (or demise) of my future (yes…it was THAT serious). Although it was a big step, I felt confident with my plans even though I was ONLY moving off of faith.

But as sure as I was, I wasn’t sure enough, so I called a few people whose advice I respected and asked them for theirs.

And they gave it to me.

I listened intently as their words of doubt, cynicism, fear, unbelief, and insecurity (mixed with good intentions) seeped under my skin and floated through my mind, making me second guess everything I was once so sure of.

And then “they” said it. All of them. They uttered the words that snapped me back into reality:

“But what will everyone think?”

Those were the words I needed to hear.

Those were the words that reminded me that…

I REALLY DIDN’T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THOUGHT! 

In my earlier days I wasn’t a big fan of people because their opinions (no matter how insignificant) ALWAYS seemed to affect me in some way, even stunting my growth.

Because what they thought of me mattered.

More than what I thought of myself.

Do you find yourself questioning every move you make in life, fearing that you’ll get criticized and ridiculed in the event that you fail? Do you hold back on “crazy ideas” and “unrealistic dreams” for fear that you’ll be laughed at for even thinking up something so innovative and big?

The truth is that you’re going to be laughed and pointed at, talked about, and judged by a pack of insecure people anyway.

When I decided to have my daughter and became a teenage mom…they judged me.

When I decided to quit college and pursue my writing career (passing on becoming a nurse or a teacher)…they criticized me.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out where all the hate was coming from and I soon realized that some people were threatened by my potential. They wanted me to get a “real job” so that the success of my dreams turned to reality wouldn’t slap them in the face with the truth:

That their life SUCKED.

That they were doomed to a life of mediocrity.

That they weren’t cool enough to MAKE anything different happen in their own lives (thus being stuck with themselves FOREVER).

So I stopped asking people what they thought and put them in their place if they offered unsolicited advice, because I made the DECISION to just do me, no matter how anyone else felt!

Are you curious about how to REALLY not care about what anyone thinks about you? I have five tips that’ll get you going in the right direction:

#1 Know when you’re right. Release the urge to prove it
Let go of the fantasy of getting approval from your family and/or friends.
Let go of the urge to make them understand your vision because if it’s big enough and worth anything, they won’t understand it anyway. They’re going to talk about you behind your back and on social networking sites, but who cares? If you’re going to let that stop you, just quit while you’re ahead!

#2 Stop asking for everyone’s opinion, especially when they’re as stupid as you
You are the sum total of the people you hang out with, which means that your current crew hasn’t elevated their mind set to where you are. Their thinking is small and not equipped to help you. Their opinion doesn’t matter!

#3 Don’t take anything personally
WHEN (not “if,” cause it’s inevitable) someone says something about you, don’t get mad! What they say IS NOT about you. It’s an inner struggle regarding how they feel about themselves. Never respond to it.
Wish them well and then let them dig their own grave of low self esteem while you GO HARDER in whatever it is that pissed them off enough that they had to take time out of their VERY busy lives to comment on little ol’ you.

#4 Mediocrity is attainable. Strive for unrealistic
To be in the business of not caring, you have to grow thick skin. Why? Because if you haven’t built up your confidence muscle, people’s words and opinions about you will rip you apart. One way to build that muscle is to strive for unrealistic goals. I’m talking about dreams so big that you’ll be outside of your comfort zone and guaranteed to be laughed at. Believe me, the mere fact that you coughed up enough balls to make your life a success will only make them wallow in their own self pity with the fact that they couldn’t grow a pair.

#5 Average people love being average because no one bothers them
Really, need I say anymore?

You can’t care about the opinions of others enough to ask if your dreams are a good idea, because they are.

And they will never think so.

Trust your gut and do what you want to do because your mind is at peace and your heart knows that it’s right!

Because I want you believe in yourself.
HARDER than you ever thought possible.

xo.

Tiph

And as always, I’d LOVE to know what you think. Leave a comment below.

Tagged as: Personal Development, self growth, Tiphani Montgomery