FOREVER YOUNG (RIP Nigel Ellison)

by Tiphani N. Montgomery

Our children are dying.

They aren’t graduating from high school, they’re being buried six feet under.

They aren’t building families, they’re building deaths counts. Prison sentences are no longer a punishment, yet a lifestyle that is foolishly looked forward to.

Expected. A badge of honor.

Whose fault is it?

Mine. Yours. Ours.

While you’re sitting in your homes, your churches, your businesses. While you spend time with your friends and hug your family, our children are dying.

Being massacred.

Slayed. By each other.

We ARE failing them.

We HAVE failed them.

We have failed them by thinking that just because they’re not our children, they are not our responsibility.

By labeling them menaces to society.

By giving up on them and telling them to make it on their own.

We have failed them by not affirming them.

By not letting them know that they’re more than conquers. That they are powerful and have the ability to save and change lives. Or maybe we cant teach them what we don’t think about ourselves.

For you who live in the suburbs tucked away in your safe houses that you hide in..this is your problem!

For you who live in the hood and have settled with the thought that nothing can be changed…this is your problem!

For you young people who think this is just the way life is…this is your problem!

A problem that can no longer be ignored.

A problem that is causing the extinction of our youth.

A problem, that if not handled, will bring this city to ruin.

A city I have chosen to raise my daughter in.

Blood has been stained on too many sidewalks, in too many homes.

Gallons and gallons of baby blood.

The devil has a strong hold on the minds of our children.

Prayer is not enough.

Faith is not enough.

We have to take action.

God has equipped us with the power to heal this city. Don’t let anymore blood be on our hands.

Plant seeds of encouragement, love, expectation, dreams, and future into our children, in each other, and watch how we grow.

Jay Z said he wanted to be forever young.

Forever young is something Nigel should not have been.

© 2010 www.TiphaniMontgomery.com

I. Just. Couldn’t. Help. Myself.

Just the other day my girlfriend called me very distraught about a situation that had happened between her and a man that she had been dating. He pursued her very aggressively and they have been seeing each other for about two months, talking on the phone or going out on a daily basis.

My friend was very comfortable with where this “relationship” was going.

Side Note:  I use my “quotation fingers” for the word “relationship” because “he” had kind of never agreed to be in a “relationship.” She just kind of figured for the amount of time they spent on the phone and going out that it was going into a “relationship.” And this is where the problem started. This was the foundation of the “relationships” demise.

Another Side Note: Ladies (and hear read me VERY carefully), if a guy HAS NOT agreed to be in a “relationship” with YOU specifically… (Insert drum roll here)….. YOU’RE NOT in a “relationship” with him. So don’t assume just because you guys have been LIVING THE VIDA LOCA and cozying up for a few months that he’s exclusively seeing just you. This is a talk that requires both of your responses…not just YOUR vivid imagination. Just FYI.

Soooo, he tells her that he’s going to call her back in 20 minutes one day and she didn’t hear from him for four days.

She went insane.

I mean like “Swim Fan” insane.

She went from a very classy woman to a psycho, killer, crazy, serial phone caller lady.

She called him several times on the first day and when day two rolled around she called even more, but this time implementing the texting ammunition. On the third day it got worse when she went all “mass murderer” on him and on day number four; he answered his phone and acted like nothing had ever happened.

Never mentioning why he didn’t answer or return her calls and he never questioned if there was an emergency.

Side Note: Because surely it should have been an emergency if you call someone over 20 times (and I’m sure it was more), right?

Another Side Note: And then I got confused that women still did this in 2010 *Kanye Shrugs*

Her first mistake was being a psycho, killer, crazy, serial phone caller lady. Not only did she portray herself as unstable, she also didn’t get the answers or response she wanted from this fella.

Now, I know for a FACT that my girlfriend isn’t the only chick out here calling a guy way too many times in the dating phase of a “situation” so let me give you the pointers I gave her:

When a guy STOPS answering your phone call, he just simply doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. His phone wasn’t broke and he wasn’t in the emergency room, he just DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

As rude and inconsiderate as it seems…as disrespectful as we THINK it is, it’s okay for him to do that because you aren’t in a “relationship” with him.

Side Note: Stop living in a fantasy world of imaginary boyfriends. (I.e. Just cause you live with a man doesn’t make him your “husband.”) Nuff said!

Now if you were this guy’s girlfriend, I’m sure he would have NEVER done this to you in the first place, but he did because you’re not.

Side Note: The phone could either be a weapon of mass destruction or a magic wand in your journey to winning the guy you’re interested in over. THE FASTER YOU LEARN THIS, THE SOONER YOU’LL BE TO LIVING A SANE AND PEACEFUL LIFE.

Men and women view the phone very differently.

Men use the phone more for business purposes (especially if he’s getting money like he’s suppose to be) *Pauses*(just for a second so that you can reexamine your “situation” if he’s not. Again, this is 2010…step your game up!). And women use the phone as a social tool because we fall in love through our ears.

So if you’re a chick that has been dating a man for a few months and think that you’re in a relationship with him but you’re not quite sure …

Side Note: This doesn’t count for the women who are dating men that have BLATANLY told you that he wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend “right now” aka “never with YOU.” That just makes YOU stupid.

…and he’s kind of cUT yOU oFF, you can redeem yourself from calling him too much and lOOking desperate.

Step One:  

Don’t call him anymore. PERIOD. Stop dialing his phone number. If you don’t remember his number by heart already (as you shouldn’t because that would definitely make you crazy), erase it out of your phone.

The person that calls the most has the most feelings and since this is the beginning of a relationship something, you want the guy to pursue you.

He’s the hunter.

You want to be chased.

Your role, at this stage, is to sit back and be a prize.

Let HIM pursue YOU.

DON’T CALL HIM ANYMORE. PLEASE.

If he wants to talk to you, he’ll call you. PERIOD.

Now I know that this is hard to deal with for women who are use to letting your phone possess you, but if it hasn’t been working for you thus far, why keep doing it? Seriously, just try it out for two weeks. I promise you…this works. All the men in the world are the same and have been since the beginning of time. They like to chase. End of story.

Step Two:

Believe it or not, he’s going to call you back. It might be days, weeks, or months until you hear from him again, but he’s going to call back (so let go of thinking that all is lost).

Men, for the most part, are very predictable. He’s going to wonder why you stopped calling him because in all actuality, he liked the attention.

DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE.

I REPEAT, DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE!

Let him call for no less than a week before you answer the phone (ONLY if you even want to talk to him again, which I wouldn’t :/).

As hard as that may seem (because you’re just itching for answers) you’re going to have to keep yourself busy AT ALL TIMES. Get out the house, take a class, DO ANYTHING that’ll keep you from touching that phone because you have to let him know that you’re just as busy as he is.

Step Three: 

When you do ANSWER (Note: I didn’t say “Call Him Back”) the phone (after the week is out), don’t have an ATTITUDE, don’t COMPLAIN or NAG him, and don’t QUESTION him about why he didn’t return any of your calls. Answer the phone with a smile on your face and act as if nothing had ever happened.

Believe me…this works.

Men are use to us women getting upset over the most basic things so don’t be that typical chick who always wants to “talk” about her feelings.

Side Note: A woman that’s upset is a woman who is easy to read. And you don’t want to be easily read, especially in the beginning, because that makes you familiar and when you’re familiar you become boring and being a bore + a psycho serial caller = You Playing Yourself. Hard.

Don’t ask him how he’s been and don’t talk about what you’ve been doing over the last few weeks. Act like you just got off the phone with him a few hours ago and you’ve been having the time of your life. Keep the conversation to a 10 minute maximum.

When time to hang up, tell him you have to do something insanely stupid like going to a knitting expo (he has to know where he is at this point at the priority level of your life). He’s not going to believe that you would rather do something stupid like a knitting expo than to hang out with him and that’s going to pique his interest in you again. Just a few weeks prior you were a dumb broad with no self control and now you’ve become unattainable.

You: But Tiphani why do I have to play games with these guys. Why can’t I just let them know how I really feel?

Me: *bangs head on concrete wall* Haven’t you read anything I wrote? Men hunt. The species that they hunt are called game. The basic truth is either you play the game or you’ll lose every single time. It just is what it is.

It’s hard to remain emotionless in the beginning and not complain when something like this happens, but your complaining is not going to change him from being disrespectful.

The only person you can change is yourself.

So before you stop (or start) eating, gaining and losing weight and going through the changes of life or a man, JUST LET IT ALL GO. Change how you react to the situation and things will end up much better.

You can’t control his actions, you can only control yours and at the end of the day, your peace of mind is the only thing that’s important.

I truly hope this helps someone, because it works GREAT for me.

Just remember, men only do what you let them do.

Raise your standards and DON’T CALL HIM NO MO!

Tiphani Montgomery

It’s 2010.

You made some ridiculous New Year’s Resolutions that you most likely won’t stick to. Don’t let WRITING THE BOOK THAT YOU’VE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE FOREVER! be one of them. It’s time to turn your whining and complaining about “not knowing how to get started” to rest. 

Tiphani will teach you the secrets of keeping your creative juices flowing even in the midst of a bRaIN fReZZZeee and on the occasions when your brain just simply S.T.O.P.S W.O.R.K.I.N.G. 

Other Topics will include:

How to begin: Writing books that’ll sell

How to find out what genre your book belongs to (Fiction? Non-Fiction? Self-Help? How To?, etc) and which of those sell the most

How to conquer writers block

How to write a synopsis

How to develop characters, use dialogue, and the art of showing, not telling

How to outline your book (because you weren’t going to write a whole book without one…right?)

Tiph (as most people call her, whether she likes it or not) will also offer her INFAMOUS “Don’t Take It Personal!” Book Critiques (advice your friends and family are too nice to tell you) about your book idea and sample chapters.WARNING: These critiques aren’t for the faint of heart and are only offered to the FIRST THREE PEOPLE who sign up for this seminar!

A Q + A session will conclude the seminar with not only answers to your book writing frustrations, but also in the areas of choosing whether publishing or self publishing is right for you and the marketing and promotion of your book.

This 4 hour seminar is ONLY $99.

Class is limited to 10 people and ALWAYS SELL OUT so REGISTER NOW!

Email Tiphani at Tiphani@TiphaniMontgomery.com for more information.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=10909479

“Cute’s good.

But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person?

That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bank book or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you?

When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.

And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married. Get out of it and find that person that brings you complete and utter joy with who you are at the moment.”

Date: November 21st, 2009

Time: 2:45 pm

To all that can make it, come out and get great info on the literary industry and have a intellegent discussion about the power of words.

See ya there!!

1. Learn to replace your complaining with making requests and taking actions that’ll achieve the outcome that you’re looking for.

2. If you’re in a situation that you don’t like, either work to make it better or LEAVE!

Life is really that simple.

Nobody owes you anything.

You have always had the POWER to create your dream life.

Use it!

“99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses!”- George Washington Carver

 

I use to make excuses.

Lots of them.

If my relationships failed, money ran low, or goals weren’t met, it was always someone else’s fault. I had brainwashed myself into thinking that everybody (other than myself) was responsible for my demise.

Because I was am perfect!

And my mistakes couldn’t have possibly been my fault…or could they?

Finally tired of my own shenaniggans, I made it my mission to find out why I wasn’t producing desired results in my life and I set out to find the reasons why.

I learned that I had NEVER taken responsibility for ANYTHING! I hadn’t given up complaining or my favorite victim stories of why I wasn’t further in my life than I was.

So I made the decision to change.

To create my dream life.

I had to face myself in the mirror and take the position that I always had the power to produce my desired results. I had to decide that everything I did, thought, and said would be intentional and aligned with my purpose, values, and goals.

You will never become successful as long as you continue to blame him for not treating you right, your job for not paying you enough, etc. You have to face the fact that it was your actions that got you in the STUPID position that you’re in right now.

You are not the victim.

You stood by and let it happen.

RESULTS DON’T LIE

You’re either wealthy or you struggle to pay your bills, you’re either a serial babymama or you rose your standards and excepted nothing less than marriage, you’re either respected or you’re not, you either have a book written or you don’t, you are either happy or you…are…not! The results of your life NEVER lie.

Let today be the first day of the rest of your life. Examine what’s not working and CHANGE to make it different. Don’t waste the time you have thinking that this is just how things are supposed to be.

They’re not.

They never were.

And you have the POWER to CREATE something different for yourself and your family TODAY!!

Love ya!

In less than a week, the orders for THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK OF THE YEAR were going crazy and although I knew you liked the book, I didn’t know that your love for it had grown as much as it did.

You guys are THE BEST!!

Chloe WILL NOT disappoint you in her newest adventures of revenge, greed, and lust…I promise.

If you haven’t pre-ordered your AUTOGRAPHED copy yet, click here before they RUN OUT!!

At the present moment, I am very busy with a few new writing projects so for the next week I’m just going to post inspirational messages, pictures, and sayings that inspire me.

Feel free to stop by and get MOTIVATED!!!